Kendra is experiencing her first breakup. Before you think her relationship was just some silly, fickle junior high or high school relationships, I would think otherwise. Her relationship has taken the deepest kind of commitment and sacrifice. She experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows. She lost sleep some nights. Whenever she felt like giving up she would pick herself back up and work harder. She gave up times when she could have been with family and friends. When other girls were texting all day or posting on social media, she was dedicated 100% to focusing on making things better. She left parties, missed hang-outs, vacations, and didn't have time for extras.
Last night Kendra made the very difficult choice to stop pursuing a gymnastics career or scholarship. It is truly like a very difficult breakup. In my opinion, it is way harder than any junior high or high school relationship breakup. I am not saying those breakups are not hard, but gymnastics is part of who Kendra is as a person. It has shaped her. It is part of her identity. She is wondering who she is without gymnastics. She started gymnastics when she was three years old! She feels lost, and at the same time she feels that it is the right thing to do to stop gymnastics.
Last night she said, "I am known as the girl that does gymnastics and the girl with muscles." I told her that she is so much more than a gymnast. She has told no one her decision because, well, she needs to tell her coaches first, which she is dreading and also because she doesn't want to hear disappointment in other's expectations. Today at lunch one of her friends said, "Kendra you are so good at gymnastics! You are going to the Olympics!" She hears those words from everyone and so she feels like she is disappointing people. I have told her that it is her life and not anyone else's life. Other people's feelings on what she should do does not matter. Kendra is the one that is sacrificing everything for a dream, not others. The kids her age are clueless at the pressure gymnasts go through and the amount of time they put into the sport. Many kids do a sport with the perk of social interaction and recognition from their peers. It isn't like that in the sport of gymnastics. The girls in gymnastics have a certain drive and determination that is not found in other sports. It is for personal gain and not recognition.
Kendra will mourn what has been apart of her since age 3. She really doesn't know life without the sport of gymnastics. Yes, she has taken a few breaks, but she has never given up the sport. It isn't just how much time and effort she has put into the sport of gymnastics but the family she has gained. She has known her coaches and some of her teammates since she was 5 years old. She spends more time with them then she does her friends at school or her own family. They have become a family in and out of gymnastics. She is saying goodbye to all the hours she spends with them each week. They share something that no one else does. They understand each other in ways that none of their friends at school understand.
Kendra has realized that she doesn't really want to do gymnastics in college. She is worn out. She is burned out. It isn't just a break this time. She has realized that even though she loves the sport of gymnastics, even though she is an amazing gymnast and she could go very far with the sport of gymnastics, that she doesn't love it more than other things at this time in her life. She wants to have the opportunity to go to school dances or to actually be able to go on family vacations. She wants to hang out with friends on a Friday night without having to wake up at the crack of dawn for gymnastics practice on a Saturday morning and then come home to do chores and homework so that she can hang out again Saturday night for a sliver of a moment. Then back to the grind during the week of school, gymnastics, homework, bed, school gymnastics, homework, bed.
She is nervous to try new things because she thinks she has to be the best at whatever she tries. She thinks people expect her to be the best at anything athletic since they make such a big deal about how strong she is. I know how she feels. I always put that kind of pressure on myself at her age too. I told her that no one expects her to be the best at track and field, or basketball, or whatever other sport she may try. She may be the strongest out there, but she hasn't practiced the skills. And who flipping cares what others think?! This is her life! I told her, "I don't think most kids are even thinking about how good you are, they are all thinking of themselves!" Teenagers are so worried about themselves that they aren't worrying about anyone else! LOL.
I am in mourning also. Not only has gymnastics been a part of Kendra's life, but it has also been part of our family. We have traveled with her team and gotten to know all the wonderful gymnasts and their families. Kendra's coaches have become our family friends. They have impacted so much of Kendra's life. Kendra is one tough cookie because of Jack and Erin Carter. I know that Kendra will take all those lessons she has learned and apply them into her life. We love Carters gymnastics. We love gymnastics! It will always be our favorite sport. I think Brian is having the hardest time. He loves that his daughter is so tough and an amazing athlete. He had no clue that a girl gymnast is beyond any football or basketball player when it comes to toughness and athleticism until he had a gymnast daughter.
It has been an amazing ride. We have had a wonderful time! Even though this breakup is hard for everyone, especially Kendra, I am so excited for her! I want her to realize that she is so much more than just gymnastics. She has gifts that are inside her that are so special. She may not get awards or have trophies for being a genuinely kind person - but being a genuinely good, kind girl is worth so much more than some trophy that will collect dust as the years go by. Her pure heart is priceless! Her smarty pants brain is priceless! Her virtue is priceless!
More than ANYTHING! I am soooo beyond excited to have Kendra around me more. I love her so much! She makes me smile and laugh. I love her forever, no matter what!
