If there was a scripture to describe my husband, this scripture would be at the top of the list:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.Brian's love has been a constant in my life since the day we realized we both had an interest in each other. He has never yelled at me or told me anything to me that would make me feel bad about myself. He does not hesitate to tell me his opinions and he is one of the boldest persons I have ever known. There is a big difference between arrogance and being bold. There is a big difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Brian is assertive and bold. People listen to him when he is making a point and it is impossible to argue with his words. They are not from a place of trying to be right or a place of boasting. His words and actions are honest, humble, and bold. He is also very loyal. I have never had to worry about him being dishonest or looking at another woman. Not ever! He has only had eyes for me since the day we started dating. Men will make the excuse that they are men so they can't help it. Brian has mastered himself since he was very young. His parents taught him correct principals and he adhered to their words. Of course he was and is attracted to women. He always seemed to have a girlfriend since the day he was in Kindergarten until close to the time he met me. Brian is blessed that he chose from a very young age to not go near pornography and to not take part in any form of pornography. He was in sports and he avoided filthy talk or being part of looking at any form of pornography. He stayed away from pornography like it was the plague. Because of his choices, and because of the example of his father and older brothers, he has been the most loyal husband and father. He has always put his family first, and especially me.
Instead of being mocked, his peers respected him. Brian is not judgmental. He is the most accepting person I know. He has compassion for those that struggle with not only pornography, but other addictions that can make a person miserable. He has compassion and love for those that are hurting in any form in their lives. He always compared it to how much he loves Doctor Pepper. He says, "If I have a hard time quitting Doctor Pepper then I can't imagine how hard it is to quit serious addictions." He always is understanding. I find him on his knees for long periods of time praying for those in our ward that are struggling. I do not know who he is praying for or what the circumstances are, but they are always on his mind and in his prayers.
Brian had close friends in high school that did drugs and drank. Often he was the designated driver. He was the Stake President's son, and I am sure there were parents in the stake that would never allow their child to hang out with a group that was choosing bad choices. His parents taught him to love others, but to stand firm in his convictions and beliefs. His friends became protective of him and would warn him to not go to certain places because of the filth that would be occurring. Some of his friends were in rehab on and off for years. Brian also had friends that had the same standards as himself. I love that he loved! He loved his friend's hearts and did not focus on the drinking or smoking or drugs. Brian did not like that his friends were choosing those choices. His friends knew how Brian felt about it because of his example.
I don't think there are many people on this earth that are so selfless. Brian rarely has thought about himself since we got married. It is in his nature to always think about what would make me happy or the girls happy. He feels pulled in so many different directions. He is the owner of a business with many employees that he oversees and then he is bishop. No matter what others may think he should do like putting his calling first, he never has. He has always made his family a priority. I can't imagine how hard that must be for him when his phone is going off non-stop with work calls and church calls. The hardest part is that he knows what others are going through and I am positive that he wants to be there for every person struggling. He chose at the beginning of our marriage that he would always put our family first.
One day we were talking to one of our daughters about thinking outside of oneself. We have tried to stress how we are here to uplift other people and to serve. It is all about becoming closer to the Savior and loving others as the Savior loves. Our daughter said, "Dad, you always are helping us. You are always helping everyone." I wasn't sure how Brian would respond to her flattering, but sincere words. Brian's sincerity in his response was strongly felt as he told our daughter that he made a choice a long time ago (at this point he got choked up) that he would not think about himself. He had made the conscious choice to put others first.
How? How did I get this man? How was I the one that broke off our engagement multiple times? His love has been steady as a rock in my life. He is the constant that I never had in my life. I do not have to wonder or worry with him. I feel secure. I know I am always loved no matter what. No matter what!
Brian is my very best friend. I read an Ensign article the other day written by some type of professor or something of that nature that has studied marriages that work and marriages that fail. He wrote about the myth of soul mates or "the one". God does not choose your husband or wife. YOU choose your husband or wife. Once that choice is made, it is a life-long process to strive to emulate the Savior's love within one's marriage. I am grateful that there are articles for adults, young adults, and teenagers to read that help debunk the myth of what a loving marriage should be founded on. When someone feels the rush of falling in love, it is a chemical reaction. It is mostly infatuation. At some point it will go away. Falling in love is just that - a chemical reaction. A rush. The feeling can be very strong and overwhelming. The phrase "I fell in love at first sight" is a myth. The person may have an overwhelming draw to a certain person, but it is that chemical reaction. It is just the first phase of getting to know someone. When it leaves some couples or one spouse desires the rush over stability and true love. Hopefully what is left when that infatuation is long gone is devotion, affection, compassion, forgiveness, loyalty, friendship, and LOVE. The kind of love described in the scripture I shared. I am beyond blessed that I have a husband that is my very best friend. He desires real love over some excited rush. Falling in love should only happen once in a relationship, during the courting phase.
Our marriage is not perfect because neither of us is perfect. We get impatient at times. I get grumpy. Brian gets tired. The kids drive us crazy. Someone gets sick. Work is hard. The dogs peed in the house. Etc., etc., etc. Brian is the rock, in my opinion. He is the one that is always emulating Christ-like love. He is never sitting, always doing. If he sees something needs to be done, he will do it whether it is the dishes or folding laundry. He is always helping. It never seizes. He is not as spry as he once was when our children were younger. He has many more responsibilities and he is tired when he comes home. When he is awake he is always thinking about how to help and he is always loving. He is selfless.
I hope that one day I can emulate the Savior the way my husband emulates the Savior. I am far from it!! When I pictured marriage as a kid, I pictured the twitterpated love portrayed on Bambi when Thumper's leg can't stop thumping the ground while the girl bunny is playing with his ear. LOL. I am grateful that instead I have the feelings of peace, comfort, stability, safety, warmth, affection, and LOVE. Thank you Brian for always loving me. I never had the emotional stability and peace in my life until I married you. Thank you for showing me what real love is. I love you forever no matter what!
And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.
