Opinionated? Me!?
I Have Opinions About Everything!
Yes, I am opinionated. If everyone just listened to me, then I could solve the world's problems. Okay, I am not that opinionated. Some people think that having opinions means that one is argumentative. I would not call myself argumentative. I guess, really, it depends on what you feel is an argument. I don't care if others have different views then me. I may think the viewpoint is completely baseless, idiotic, and down right foolish, but it will not override my relationship with the person or how I treat another human being. Yes, I love a good debate. In fact, some of my closest friends would play devils advocate just so we could have debates. It was entertaining and fun! I get very passionate when I say my opinions. I learned this from my dad. We feel things very deeply. Some think that passion is another sign of arguing. I can be passionate about most any subject if I have some opinion on the subject, no matter how silly or ridiculous the subject matter. I like to be heard and say what I think. It would be nice to always be understood, but I realize that is never going to happen. I am very strong in my convictions, so it is extremely rare that someone changes my viewpoints on things. I still listen and most often I can understand what the other person/persons is saying or feeling. It doesn't mean that it is going to change what I feel. While I'm on the subject of arguing versus debating - not all arguments are bad. Arguing one's viewpoint is just a big debate. When there are those who take offense and walk away mad, well, that is their choice and they obviously can't handle when others have different views. I, for one, can walk away from a debate, or argument, and feel the exact same feelings for the person that I had before the topic of debate ever was brought up. We aren't talking about how we feel about each other, we are talking about subjects like politics, education, sports, or pretty much anything, including cheerleading (I'll tell that story later).The older I have gotten the more I have wanted to listen to what others are saying and how they feel also. I like to learn who someone is and what they stand for. I find most every person I meet interesting. Each person has his/her own history and reasons behind why they feel what they feel and why they think the way they think.
An Actual Peacemaker Feels Peace INSIDE!
I believe that just because someone avoids even the thought of confronting someone, does not make them a peacemaker. If there is something bothering someone inside, then isn't that contentious? Wouldn't it be better to confront the problem? Just because a person doesn't say or express what he/she is feeling or thinking inside does not mean they are a peacemaker. I learned that 99% of the time when I confront a conflict, the conflict washes away and feelings and people are understood more clearly. Isn't that actual peace? Isn't that making peace? Hello, it's called peacemaker. You've got to make peace to have actual peace. Sometimes it takes conflict, maybe even an argument with the person, before the situation is resolved. I don't know if some people learned how to resolve conflict and that is why it paralyzes them with fear. I know many people, especially girls, where even the idea of confronting someone or a situation gives them major anxiety. They avoid it like the plague. This saddens me because they would rather bury the problem then face it. The problems usually just escalate, but they continually put on a fake smile about the situation or person and the conflict is never resolved. I have also been guilty of burying my feelings and trying to make peace by pretending the conflict is not there, but if the conflict continues within myself then I will find one way or another to make peace within myself. If that takes me confronting someone, then so be it. It is worth my peace of mind! I actually am a very peaceful person inside. I rarely ever feel contentious or unsettled inside of myself. I don't like contention AT ALL!!! I hate contention. It is false to think contention is something that happens because you confront someone with how you truly feel or what you think. It is ONLY contentious if you are feeling upset INSIDE. That is why if I ever am feeling a lot of contention and I can't seem to resolve it within myself, then I will confront it head on. Things have usually resolved for me when I confront the person or situation and I can once again feel at peace inside.
Cheerleaders vs. Pommies Debate:
My mother-in-law is the sweetest lady. She worries and cares about everyone around her. In most people's minds my mother-in-law is considered a peacemaker because she avoids what she considers confrontation like the aids virus. A story that always makes me laugh is one that took place at the family cabin. We were sitting around the dining room table and somehow cheerleading and pommies were brought up. I used to cheer back in my prime. My brother-in-law, who also likes to play devils advocate, was saying how pommies were the talented ones and the cheerleaders were the left-overs. Of course I think that is 100% bologna since the cheerleaders, at least at my high school, were the most in shape kids at our school. We all had muscles sticking out. We had to know how to tumble, do a series of great jumps, dance, and stunt. Of course I was going to defend the cheerleader angle of the story since that is what I did back in the day. Not only that, even though I do think the cheerleaders were by far the most athletic and very talented, the pommies were just as talented and very athletic. They just had a different role then the cheerleaders. Now, I knew my brother-in-law had no idea what he was talking about since he never went to my high school. I knew this whole discussion was for entertainment purposes. We went back and forth about the whole pommie/cheerleader discussion when I saw my mother-in-law leave the room. She thought there was contention! I think it is hilarious to this day! I am going to be passionate about any opinion I have, but I don't take a cheerleading/pommie discussion THAT seriously, or serious at all! I was actually having fun discussing it. I take it as a challenge when someone has a different opinion than me. The people I have debates with are most often times the people I feel closest to. There is NO way that a cheer/pommie debate is going to change my feelings for any person!!!!
I realized that if someone did not learn how to debate freely when being raised, but instead was shut down and told that any type of debate is contentious then that is what they are going to feel and think as an adult. I was raised to debate, question things, and come up with my own convictions and opinions. Of course I was taught standards, there were rules that were expected to be followed, and there were consequences to actions. But I could freely tell my parents that I thought certain rules were ridiculous, or that I disagreed with a certain consequence without getting in trouble for expressing my feelings and opinions, even if they were different then my parents. Yes, it made my parents angry sometimes, but I was not shut down. I was allowed to say my opinions on anything and everything. Sometimes it was contentious or there were fights, but I never got in trouble for feelings or thoughts expressed, even when I expressed those thoughts and opinions in an unflattering way. My mom did not believe in shutting down our emotions either. If we were angry and we wanted to express our anger or frustration by crying or screaming, then we were allowed to express it however we wanted. My mom was this way because she WAS shut down in her house growing up and it made her boiling mad inside. I am not saying that I think the way my parents did things is the best way (really, what is the best way?), but it is the way I was raised. So I don't get all flustered or awkward when there are debates or differences of opinions. I don't know how it feels to be a person that constantly keeps all those things buried inside. I would EXPLODE!!!
I'm An Enigma:
My husband says I am an enigma to some people. I would agree. See, I like to debate, I am passionate, and I am very opinionated. BUT...I die a little if I ever hurt someone else's feelings or offend someone. It can be frustrating being me at times. I care so much about what others are feeling (not what they think about me, but how they feel inside). I do not want anyone to ever feel sad. I am trying to learn, even though it is very hard to change, that if the opinion I am expressing causes someone else to feel hurt, annoyed, offended, etc., then that is on them. There is nothing wrong with saying exactly what I think. If someone can't handle it, then so be it, it isn't my problem, especially if my purpose was just to debate, not personally offend someone. But I want everyone to feel happy all the time, and so, well... UGH!!!!
In Conclusion:
So, basically I am happy to have a blog where I can rant about anything I want. Like I wrote, I have opinions about a ton of things and I like to express myself. I love journal writing. I like to get my feelings out by writing. Sometimes I have very few things to write about what I am feeling and thinking and most often I have a ton to write about what I am feeling and thinking. Writing is a way for me to figure out my feelings. It has always been therapeutic for me. I write things I would never say out loud.
Yes, I am opinionated. If everyone just listened to me, then I could solve the world's problems. Okay, I am not that opinionated. Some people think that having opinions means that one is argumentative. I would not call myself argumentative. I guess, really, it depends on what you feel is an argument. I don't care if others have different views then me. I may think the viewpoint is completely baseless, idiotic, and down right foolish, but it will not override my relationship with the person or how I treat another human being. Yes, I love a good debate. In fact, some of my closest friends would play devils advocate just so we could have debates. It was entertaining and fun! I get very passionate when I say my opinions. I learned this from my dad. We feel things very deeply. Some think that passion is another sign of arguing. I can be passionate about most any subject if I have some opinion on the subject, no matter how silly or ridiculous the subject matter. I like to be heard and say what I think. It would be nice to always be understood, but I realize that is never going to happen. I am very strong in my convictions, so it is extremely rare that someone changes my viewpoints on things. I still listen and most often I can understand what the other person/persons is saying or feeling. It doesn't mean that it is going to change what I feel. While I'm on the subject of arguing versus debating - not all arguments are bad. Arguing one's viewpoint is just a big debate. When there are those who take offense and walk away mad, well, that is their choice and they obviously can't handle when others have different views. I, for one, can walk away from a debate, or argument, and feel the exact same feelings for the person that I had before the topic of debate ever was brought up. We aren't talking about how we feel about each other, we are talking about subjects like politics, education, sports, or pretty much anything, including cheerleading (I'll tell that story later).The older I have gotten the more I have wanted to listen to what others are saying and how they feel also. I like to learn who someone is and what they stand for. I find most every person I meet interesting. Each person has his/her own history and reasons behind why they feel what they feel and why they think the way they think.
An Actual Peacemaker Feels Peace INSIDE!
I believe that just because someone avoids even the thought of confronting someone, does not make them a peacemaker. If there is something bothering someone inside, then isn't that contentious? Wouldn't it be better to confront the problem? Just because a person doesn't say or express what he/she is feeling or thinking inside does not mean they are a peacemaker. I learned that 99% of the time when I confront a conflict, the conflict washes away and feelings and people are understood more clearly. Isn't that actual peace? Isn't that making peace? Hello, it's called peacemaker. You've got to make peace to have actual peace. Sometimes it takes conflict, maybe even an argument with the person, before the situation is resolved. I don't know if some people learned how to resolve conflict and that is why it paralyzes them with fear. I know many people, especially girls, where even the idea of confronting someone or a situation gives them major anxiety. They avoid it like the plague. This saddens me because they would rather bury the problem then face it. The problems usually just escalate, but they continually put on a fake smile about the situation or person and the conflict is never resolved. I have also been guilty of burying my feelings and trying to make peace by pretending the conflict is not there, but if the conflict continues within myself then I will find one way or another to make peace within myself. If that takes me confronting someone, then so be it. It is worth my peace of mind! I actually am a very peaceful person inside. I rarely ever feel contentious or unsettled inside of myself. I don't like contention AT ALL!!! I hate contention. It is false to think contention is something that happens because you confront someone with how you truly feel or what you think. It is ONLY contentious if you are feeling upset INSIDE. That is why if I ever am feeling a lot of contention and I can't seem to resolve it within myself, then I will confront it head on. Things have usually resolved for me when I confront the person or situation and I can once again feel at peace inside.
Cheerleaders vs. Pommies Debate:
My mother-in-law is the sweetest lady. She worries and cares about everyone around her. In most people's minds my mother-in-law is considered a peacemaker because she avoids what she considers confrontation like the aids virus. A story that always makes me laugh is one that took place at the family cabin. We were sitting around the dining room table and somehow cheerleading and pommies were brought up. I used to cheer back in my prime. My brother-in-law, who also likes to play devils advocate, was saying how pommies were the talented ones and the cheerleaders were the left-overs. Of course I think that is 100% bologna since the cheerleaders, at least at my high school, were the most in shape kids at our school. We all had muscles sticking out. We had to know how to tumble, do a series of great jumps, dance, and stunt. Of course I was going to defend the cheerleader angle of the story since that is what I did back in the day. Not only that, even though I do think the cheerleaders were by far the most athletic and very talented, the pommies were just as talented and very athletic. They just had a different role then the cheerleaders. Now, I knew my brother-in-law had no idea what he was talking about since he never went to my high school. I knew this whole discussion was for entertainment purposes. We went back and forth about the whole pommie/cheerleader discussion when I saw my mother-in-law leave the room. She thought there was contention! I think it is hilarious to this day! I am going to be passionate about any opinion I have, but I don't take a cheerleading/pommie discussion THAT seriously, or serious at all! I was actually having fun discussing it. I take it as a challenge when someone has a different opinion than me. The people I have debates with are most often times the people I feel closest to. There is NO way that a cheer/pommie debate is going to change my feelings for any person!!!!
I realized that if someone did not learn how to debate freely when being raised, but instead was shut down and told that any type of debate is contentious then that is what they are going to feel and think as an adult. I was raised to debate, question things, and come up with my own convictions and opinions. Of course I was taught standards, there were rules that were expected to be followed, and there were consequences to actions. But I could freely tell my parents that I thought certain rules were ridiculous, or that I disagreed with a certain consequence without getting in trouble for expressing my feelings and opinions, even if they were different then my parents. Yes, it made my parents angry sometimes, but I was not shut down. I was allowed to say my opinions on anything and everything. Sometimes it was contentious or there were fights, but I never got in trouble for feelings or thoughts expressed, even when I expressed those thoughts and opinions in an unflattering way. My mom did not believe in shutting down our emotions either. If we were angry and we wanted to express our anger or frustration by crying or screaming, then we were allowed to express it however we wanted. My mom was this way because she WAS shut down in her house growing up and it made her boiling mad inside. I am not saying that I think the way my parents did things is the best way (really, what is the best way?), but it is the way I was raised. So I don't get all flustered or awkward when there are debates or differences of opinions. I don't know how it feels to be a person that constantly keeps all those things buried inside. I would EXPLODE!!!
I'm An Enigma:
My husband says I am an enigma to some people. I would agree. See, I like to debate, I am passionate, and I am very opinionated. BUT...I die a little if I ever hurt someone else's feelings or offend someone. It can be frustrating being me at times. I care so much about what others are feeling (not what they think about me, but how they feel inside). I do not want anyone to ever feel sad. I am trying to learn, even though it is very hard to change, that if the opinion I am expressing causes someone else to feel hurt, annoyed, offended, etc., then that is on them. There is nothing wrong with saying exactly what I think. If someone can't handle it, then so be it, it isn't my problem, especially if my purpose was just to debate, not personally offend someone. But I want everyone to feel happy all the time, and so, well... UGH!!!!
In Conclusion:
So, basically I am happy to have a blog where I can rant about anything I want. Like I wrote, I have opinions about a ton of things and I like to express myself. I love journal writing. I like to get my feelings out by writing. Sometimes I have very few things to write about what I am feeling and thinking and most often I have a ton to write about what I am feeling and thinking. Writing is a way for me to figure out my feelings. It has always been therapeutic for me. I write things I would never say out loud.
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