Pop

I never got around to blogging my feeling about Pop.  I wrote about him as a father to his children, but I haven’t gotten around to my thoughts on when I have known Pop.

My family were converts to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  My family is originally from Southern California (LA and Orange County area).  Then we moved to Mesa, Arizona by Mountain View High School and we were surrounded by LOTS of Mormons.  This was a big blessing for our family, but also could sometimes make things a little interesting culture-wise.  As a teenager I would look around and see these families with fathers that seemed to be quieter and knowledgeable about everything pertaining to the gospel.  The moms seemed soft-spoken and made bread.  Hahahha.  Well, my family was boisterous.  My dad played in rock-n-roll bands and my mom worked.  I always felt that I was not “good enough” because I did not fit into a certain mold.  I tried, but it would never work.  I would have BURST if I had to be a certain way.  It just didn’t work!  I followed the standards and was friendly, but I said whatever I was thinking and did not always agree with some culture things that some of my friends thought was gospel.  There were some things that happened to me that also made me feel that I did not fit in the gospel bubble.  I now realize that it was because I was a teenager.  Some teens were taught that, let’s say, drinking caffeinated beverages was wrong or that wearing a certain length of shorts is just awful.  Lol.  Well, none of that mattered to me!  It isn’t gospel!  That was something they were taught by their parents, not by a prophet of God.  But sometimes when a group of people act like it is gospel then for them it becomes gospel.  My parents were friends with people that would come over and swear like a sailor.  I was taught not to cuss, but my parents could care less if someone came over and swore or drank a beer.  That is how I was raised.  It is way more Christ-like and how everyone should be.  As I got older, I realized that my parents understood the atonement of Jesus Christ.  They loved everyone that came over.  My family had just as many friends that were Mormon as friends that were not Mormon.  My grandpa is an atheist.  He did not believe in a life after death or God.  My whole family loves each other with all our different religions, races, and beliefs.  What I learned from my parents is to stand for what is right, but let others govern themselves.  Basically, be an example but don't be self-righteous or judgmental of others.  

When I first was going to meet Pop I was still in the stage of thinking I was different than all those people that came from pioneers.  No one would have ever guessed that is how I felt.  I found out that Brian’s dad was Stake President and I was soooo nervous.  I thought I would need to act perfect.  Brian was taking me to the Layton’s ranch to meet his parents and Grandparents.  I was mostly nervous to meet Pop.  The moment we got to the ranch and Brian introduced me to his parents and grandparents, I felt acceptance and love.  Pop smiled at everything I said and made me feel accepted.  Sometimes I would say things and think in my head, “What the heck am I saying?”  I was just too nervous and probably said and acted weird, but Pop and Grandpa Layton (the two I was most nervous to meet since Grandpa Layton was also a Stake President, Mission President, and the Mesa Temple President) were genuinely kind.  It was the opposite of what I thought.  They were the most loving, warm, accepting men I had ever met in my life.  I always felt that my leaders were good men, but I did not know them personally.  It was just church interviews or listening to them talk.  Well, Grandpa Layton and Pop are the most Christ-like, close-to-perfect men I have ever been around in my life and they were not intimidating one bit.  I felt the complete opposite.  Sometimes I would say dumb things (at least that was what I was thinking inside my head) but it never phased them and they always treated me loving and with acceptance.  They made each person around them feel as though that person was their favorite.  I am sure that is how it would feel if I was with the Savior.

Pop and Mom Layton treated my family, including my extended family that are not members of our church, with the same love and acceptance.  Through Pop and Mom’s example I realized how wonderful my parents are.  They were actually the best example to me of being Christ-like to others.  They showed by example that everyone has worth, no matter what.  They taught me to live the gospel standards, but that everyone can be a friend.  I realized that the problem was within me.  I was judging those that I felt were being judgmental.  I hope that makes sense.   My testimony has grown greatly since I realized the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  It doesn’t matter what others are doing.  What matters is if I am living the gospel, and the most important part of the gospel, in my opinion, is striving to love others as the Savior loves.  I thought we needed to fit in a certain mold or box to be “Mormon enough.”  That thought makes me sad now that I ever felt that way.  If others felt or feel that way then it also makes me sad.  It is the opposite of what our Heavenly Father wants us to feel.  I have had the honor of being around some great leaders of the church and they are truly the most loving men and women.  They may teach the doctrine and standards, but they are not judging those that are having a hard time or those that may not accept certain things.  They love the person, just like the Savior loved.

Pop was the best Father-in-law.  I knew he cared about me.  I could talk to him about any doubts or concerns I may have.  He always was open, accepting, a great listener, and understanding.

When I think about Pop, I always picture me walking into his house and hearing whistling or a silly tune.  I picture walking into the room where he is sitting and him getting a big smile on his face.  He always made every activity fun, including work.  There was always some kind of work or project we would do, even at family reunions.  I was so confused the first time I went to a Layton Family Reunion.  One of the activities was tending to a garden.  I did not feel like sweating, getting dirty and hoeing a garden!  It ended up being so fun with the entire family.  Who knew that work could be fun!  Whenever we would come to visit he was always interested in us.  He was always engaged. 

Pop has always been busy with callings and on the farm.  He is a very intelligent man and ran the farm with precision.  He was a very good businessman.  If I showed up at the farm with my parents, he would drop everything he was doing and show them around.

Pop was a wonderful grandpa.  I am grateful that my children have a grandfather that taught them by example.  He always has a smile and a hug.  One example of how Pop was as a grandfather happened at the cabin.  Mom Layton had all the grand kids go on a bear hunt.  They each got a hat and a stick.  From what I remember they had certain clues on how to find the bear and they chanted, "I'm going on a bear hunt..."  They made it to a bear cave and found a bear in the cave (Pop).  Each kid went into the cave and received candy from the "bear".  Another time he got out a train.  All the grandkids were sitting there and Pop got one car out at a time.  Each car represented one of his kids.  The caboose was Kevin.  The kids loved when they knew their dad or mom was the next car on the train.  He incorporated it into how families are forever and that we are all here to help each other in our family.  When Pop would talk, the kids listened.  It is only because they felt the spirit.  They felt love.  I know it is because of Pop and Mom Layton that each person in the family feels loved and united.  Pop was always a good sport with everything.  He never complained, from what I can remember.  He took opportunities when we were all gathered as a family to bear his testimony of Christ.  His love of the Savior was just normal conversation in his everyday life.  Pop never met an enemy.  Everyone he came across was a friend.  If he heard others gossiping about someone then he would say something that didn't embarrass the person, but changed the attitude of the situation.  He loved others. 

Pop loves God.  He was willing to do whatever God asked of him until the end.  He served for 9 years in a Stake Presidency, then as President of the stake, then as a mission President in Brazil and then in the Mesa temple Presidency.  More importantly he served and loved everyone around him.  He was the best father and husband. 

Pop was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease before he was called to the Temple Presidency.  After his release he slowly went down hill. 

I have had some of Pop’s missionaries send me messages.  I can’t find the one that really touched me and made me cry.  It made me cry because it is a perfect example of Pop.  I do know that the person that wrote to me told me that he was struggling on the mission.  He talked to Pop and told Pop his struggles.  Pop asked him if he would like a blessing.  He answered yes.  When Pop got up to give him a blessing, he told the missionary, “This is a father’s blessing given with a father’s love since your father is not here at this time to give it to you himself.”  I am botching the story badly, but I could hear Pop saying it when this missionary told the story to me.  Every missionary that wrote to me told me how they felt loved.  Not nervous or intimidated.  Not judged.  They felt loved.  They felt better about themselves.   

It is hard for those in Pop’s family to think of a few moments with Pop since he was a constant in our lives.  There are so many moments that it is hard to pick out just a few to share.  So, I thought I would share just a few of the messages people have posted or sent to me personally to give an idea of how truly wonderful Pop is. 

Hi Kate. I served in the Brazil, Belem Mission and had President Layton as my mission President for almost my full time. He and Sister Layton got there when I had been in the field for about 3 months. I love those two very much. I wanted to share a story with you all, so please pass this on to the rest of your family. When I had been out for over a year, we had a zone conference. Whenever President Layton spoke. I listened. I hung on to every word, always amazed at the power he spoke with and the wisdom he had. (Sister Layton too!) The spirit always confirmed to me that he was a man of God and I loved listening to him to the point where it was as much of a luxury to listen to him as just hearing another talk or attending another training. A couple days after the zone conference President Layton called an emergency conference. Nobody knew what it was about. Several zones gathered and we took our seat in the chapel. President Layton addressed us and his first words were, "I have called this meeting as a meeting of repentance." I was nervous thinking a missionary had done something terrible. I thought someone was getting sent home and we were about to learn what not to do. Then President Layton got emotional and with tears coming down his face he called himself to repentance. "I did not act like a servant of God." Those were his next words. He then told us he had a message he needed to deliver and failed to do it in the zone conference. He felt compelled by the spirit to call this emergency conference and relay what he did not relay. I could not tell you what that message was. Truthfully it doesn't matter a whole lot to me. I remember how I felt though. The respect and admiration I had for him increased ten fold. The lesson I learned about humility that day has been something I never will forget. He taught by his actions, not just his words. It was a true example of Jesus Christ. I never feared President Layton. I just felt love from him. I wanted to do the work for the Lord, but my respect level for him was so high that I wanted to be a better person because of him and wanted to do well because he inspired me. He was firm when he needed to be and he demanded our very best. He did it with so much wisdom, love and humility and he had such a profound effect on me. I posted last week on my Facebook page that he is as close to a perfect man as I've ever seen. I love him and Sister Layton and I'm so grateful I got to serve with them.

Rafael Alencar de Paula wrote:  No matter how much I know about the plan of Salvation (Most of it taught by him and sister Layton during my mission), the sorrow and grief will be unbearable when he passes away. 

I can’t find the person who said this now, but here it is:  Thanks for the posts and updates! I had the opportunity to meet him and sister Layton last August and no words to describe how happy I was! Listen to the roar of the crowd pres Layton!!!!

Kate... I am not a member of your family, but I am grateful that you posted this amazing post here on Facebook. I am grateful that you put his funeral pictures. Can I tell you how amazing... I am in tears with how much these two individuals have touched my life!!!!! I was a missionary that served the Lord with President and Sister Layton. I actually looked into travel plans to come to the funeral... but it just wasn’t possible. I wanted to share with you and your family how grateful we’re are that you Tag Sister Layton into your photos. When I was in Brasil with these two wonderful people... I served with everything I had as an individual and it was with all Brazilian companions. I know every single one of their “mission children” are grateful for this ability to see pictures. Just two days ago I was talking with a Brazilian Elder, who now serves in his Stake Presidency... Elder Saint-Clair and he was mentioning how grateful he was for President Layton and Sister Layton. He stated he had tried to call several times, and I reminded him of how sick he was... and then he stayed that he just wanted the two of them to know what an impact he had in his life. This goes on from Elder to Elder and Sister to Sister. I will tell you that almost Daily I think of my mission and there is a high percent that one of those days it will be something I learned from Pres and Sister Layton. Or I will sit back and thanks Heavenly Father for all the words Sister Layton told me to keep me on my mission in the first month while being in Belem. I guess with all this gibberish... please just give Sister Layton a huge hug. One from Me.... one from Elder Saint-Clair. One from Elder Bispo. One from Sister Maziero. And one huge huge hug from those that haven’t sent me a message but I know they wanted to share their condolences to you and your family. We love you, and we adore Sister Layton!!!! Thank you for sharing something so personal... but helped us remember that we will see our President/ Pop of the Mission... again soon. Hugs to you all!!!!!!!!      

Dear Sister Layton and Family,
I was deeply saddened to hear of President Layton's passing. The news was a shock to me and I want you to know that my thoughts are with you all at this difficult time.
Everyone who has met President Layton will miss him very much. This whole event made me reflect what the psalmist described
"If a man dies, shall he live again?" (Job 14:14). Will the grave seal our eternal destiny? Or is there a resurrection and another sphere of existence waiting for our soul?
What I can say is that I know that death is not the end of our existence and that one day we will all meet again. We'll miss him a lot.
If there is anything I can do to help in this difficult time please le me know.

A big hug for everyone from Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Elder I Oliveira

Betty Bogle wrote: This is one of those times when I wish I was home to share my love for a family that changed my life. Dear Dianne, I’ll never forget the first time I attended an LDS Church was with your family. The first moment when my husband Bob and I talked about how we felt about the Gospel and its teachings was when your Bob came to teach us about Eternal Families. I recently was asked to bear my testimony of my conversion. I told of how when your Husband taught that principal and the Spirit was so strong in our home that you could feel it in the air, and I could hardly breath. It was the next day that Bob and I decided to be baptized. Please know that I love you both and for the first time am sorry I’m in South Carolina serving a mission. My heart goes out to you and your family. My prayers tonight will be for you all.

One of their Brazillian missionaries wrote:  I am immensely grateful for the teachings of President Layton and Dianne V Layton. I love Layton's president and Dianne V Layton from my heart, they are just like my parents. In the mission of Belem, they were great teachers for me and for all the missionaries who served with him in the "mission of miracles." President Layton and Sister Layton are examples to me of faith, love, charity. I love you all heartily, you are in my prayers, I love you, President Layton and Dianne V Layton.)

Max Lamereaux shared:  I love that man because he loves me.

Paul Dunn shared:  Such an amazing man. His example influenced me and my life. The perfect example of the father, a friend and a member of the church. His Legacy will always live on. We love you President Layton.

Paulaeluiz Nepomuceno shared:  He is one of the best persons I knew. His face was a face of the Christ.

Lori LeSueur Lyman Holgate expressed:  He is a giant Redwood and in whose shadow I grew. I treasure every word he spoke and every moment he shared. Promise me you will give Diane my love from Iraq.

Bob Kaufman shared: The swath of his influence among the children of men is long and wide and straight. It will continue onward without end for each one whose life’s path crossed his for a time. There are few better examples of kindness, gentleness, and love unfeigned than Bob Layton.

Scott Morris:  My heart is heavy hearing this. President Layton is a true guerreiro (warrior) who changed my life forever. I will be forever grateful for his testimony of the Savior and His Gospel.

 Dianne Brown:  I’m so sad, knew him when we were growing up in the Alma Ward, he is AWSOME and his parents were even better

Those are just a few examples of Pop.  I couldn’t post all of them or this would end up being a novel. 

I am grateful Pop is not suffering any longer, though I wish he had never had to struggle.  I miss his presence in my life.  I miss his upbeat personality.  He has made me become a better version of myself and I want to continue to strive to be better because of him.  

Pop, I love you.  I miss you.  I know I will see you someday, but you will be missed in my earthly experience.  Thank you for your love and acceptance.  Thank you for helping me to feel good about myself just the way I am.  Thank you for desiring for each of your family members to love the gospel.  Thank you for being the best example of how to live.  Thank you for being the greatest example of how to die.  Your faith has not wavered.  I know you are having a wonderful gathering with your parents, sister, grandparents, and all your loved ones.  I hope to see you in the presence of God someday.  If you don’t make it, then no one will make it.  Haha.  I love you!