Skeletons in the Closet

I love family history because I feel like I get to know my ancestors, maybe even some stories they thought would die with them. For instance, because of DNA, we found out that my great grandpa (Hans) from Sweden fathered a child with a girl named Anna that he loved before he met my great grandmother. The story is actually sad. Hans worked for Anna's family in Sweden. The family brought Hans over with them to the USA. Hans and Anna fell in love. There are two different scenarios that could have happened: The first is that Hans and Anna got married in secret. On their baby's birth certificate it has Hans as the father, and the baby has Hans' last name. The second is that Hans and Anna got pregnant and wanted to get married. Either way, when Anna's father found out, he forbade the relationship. He did not think Hans was good enough for his daughter. It was either because Hans was just a labor worker, or possibly because they had married in secret and Anna's father was furious, or because Hans had gotten Anna pregnant. No matter the scenario, the relationship between Hans and Anna ended, and they were both heartbroken. Anna's father fired Hans and sent him back to Sweden.

I do not know why Hans (my great grandpa) chose to immigrate back to the USA after being sent back to Sweden. My guess is that he could not forget about Anna and the baby. Hans was able to get back to the USA. He settled in the same area that Anna lived, even though there was no hope for him to persuade Anna's father to let him see Anna or the baby. Anna named their child Henry, after my great grandfather.😢 (Hans changed his name to Henry when he moved to the USA to sound more American. I am sticking with the name Hans for my great grandfather and Henry for the son he had with Anna to make the story more clear.) I have seen a picture of Henry and he is the spitting image of my great grandfather.

Look at those beautiful, big eyes.  Hans is my dad's maternal grandpa.

Hans later met my great grandmother, Ida, who was from Germany (now Poland). Hans and Ida raised their family a hop, skip, and a jump from Anna's family. It is my guess that Hans wanted to see his son from afar and feel comforted knowing his son was okay.

Hans' children never knew that their dad fathered another child, although Anna's children found out the entire story. When Henry got older, he wanted to get a job. The employer wanted to see Henry's birth certificate before accepting him as an employee. Henry went home and asked his mother for the copy of his birth certificate. She burst into tears and realized that she had to tell Henry about Hans. I do not know all the details of what she told Henry, but I do know that Henry felt that the man that raised him was his real and only father. Once Henry got married and had children of his own, his daughter asked him if he would ever want to meet Hans. He replied, "I have a dad and he is my only dad." My heart felt pulled when I learned that information. On one hand, I feel horrible for my great grandpa because he was denied access to his son and sent away. I am positive he felt heartbroken his entire life over the situation. I also know that Hans was a loving husband, father, and grandfather. He was a gentle man with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. On the other hand, I know how it is to adopt a child. Kessa is just as much my daughter as Kendra. Kessa feels the same as Henry felt. Kessa knows I am her only mother. The girl that gave birth to her is a special person that cared enough about Kessa to give her life and a forever family - But she is not her mother.

Hans and Ida had a very happy life with their three children. Hans was a devoted husband and father.

Hans with his wife Ida and their three children

(From Left to Right):

Lorraine, Marvin, and Eileen (my grandma)

The one question all of us have: Did Hans ever tell Ida about Anna? I do not think he did tell Ida. That generation did not share those things.

Whenever I think of Hans and Anna I feel like I just watched a tragic love story. I am grateful that my great grandpa found my great grandma though. Everything I hear about their relationship was precious. They loved each other, took care of each other and their children their entire lives.

This is just one "Skeleton in the Closet", but I have found many more about other ancestors. I do not think of these skeletons as negatives though. I know some of these details about my great ancestors are probably details they thought would die with them, but I am grateful to find stories about their lives. It makes me think of them as human beings that experienced joy and heartache. They weren't perfect. They made mistakes, but they kept going. I am grateful to see them as real people with real lives and with real feelings. It also helps me to realize that even when life seems excruciating that there will be light if we endure and try to make the best of our circumstances. I believe some mistakes or heartaches can bring about the greatest blessings just like in the case of Hans. Maybe these details aren't skeletons after all. Instead they can be the comfort and inspiration that when we go through hard times that there will be light if we continue to seek for it. I think we can learn a thing or two from past generations. I know I have!

Family Reunion:

My mom was contacted by Henry's granddaughter. His granddaughter had taken a DNA test and linked the story together. I do not think she contacted anyone until everyone involved had deceased. Henry's descendants made contact with Hans's grandchildren with Ida. I need to ask my mom and dad the details of everything that went down, but if I remember correctly, Marvin Dahlgren (Hans's son with Ida) was still alive when the granddaughter contacted my family. My family was happy to learn of Henry and to meet new cousins and relatives.

More about Hans:

Lorentz Hans Ericsson

The naming convention in Sweden is very complicated. Up until the 20th century the farm or house name was always added prior to the first name, and the last name was always the father's first name with "son" added for a boy, or "dotter" (daughter) for a girl. Our family house name was Lorentz. In the 20th century some people began to use the farm or house name as a last name, so then they abandoned the "son of" or "daughter of" convention. Sometimes when they moved to the US they would change it again. So Henry's brother, Eric, took the farm name Lorentz and changed it to Lawrence, and Henry took Lawrence as his middle name and chose a completely different last name. In addition to all of this, some people abandoned the farm name altogether and simply kept passing the father's last name on for all future generations, the way we do. So then a girl would be a "son" instead of "daughter" and the name no longer reflected who the father was (since it always stayed the same).  Examples:  Larson, Olson, Erickson, Johnson.  When Hans moved to the United States he changed his name to Henry Lawrence Dahlgren to sound more American.  We have no idea why he chose the last name Dahlgren.

My Visit to Hans' Childhood Home in Dalarna, Sweden:

Not the best picture, but this is a picture of me, Kendra, and Kessa standing in front of Hans's childhood home in Dalarna, Sweden where he lived in a one bedroom home with his parents and 7 siblings.  The current owners built an extra room and an upper story to the house.  They also painted it and made it look cute.  The paint color is unique to Sweden.  All of the houses are this same color.  I am hoping to paint my door this color some day.  I like to have something in my home from each country my ancestors immigrated.  The new owners of the home built another home on the property that they live in now.  Hans' family home is now used as a guest home.  When Hans and his siblings lived in the home, there was only one bedroom for all of them and they used the second bedroom for company.  They became loggers (lumber) because the ground was impossible to farm.  They were Baptists and were persecuted for not being Lutheran, which is interesting because Ida was Lutheran and Hans' children would grow up in the Lutheran church.   Anna's family was also Baptist.  They moved to the USA for religious freedom.  The tiny village they moved from in Hornberga, Dalarna County, Sweden was made up of families hoping to start a community of Baptists.  Some of Hans' brothers also immigrated to the USA.  His brother Viktor stayed in the family home until he sold it to the couple that lives in the home now.  I met the couple and they have a picture of Viktor on their mantle, which I thought was sweet.  The homes in the area are family homes that were in the same family for generations.

Hans' Home in Minneapolis, Minnesota:

This picture was taken sometime in the 1980's after Hans and Ida had already passed away.  Hans built this home on his own.  He raised his three wonderful children in this home.  My great grandpa Dahlgren (Hans) came from nothing in Sweden and built the American dream in the USA.   He came to the USA with dreams and those dreams were at first shattered.  He didn't blame others and he did not give up.  He somehow got back to the USA.  He worked hard.  Having a modest home, a loving wife, three beautiful children who could attend school to get an education, food on the table, and a steady job was more than Hans could have ever dreamed!  He lived the American Dream!

Hans and Ida's children were a tribute to the type of people they were.  I will do a post on Hans and Ida's children in the future to show what kind of people they grew up to be.  Hans and Ida's children were part of The Greatest Generation.  

Hans' and Ida's children:

You know those old movies where a big band is playing in a glamorous club and everyone is dancing?  My grandparents lived that life.  On the right is my grandma's sister, Lorraine, and Lorraine's husband, Clary (short for Clarence).  On the left is my grandma's brother, Marv (short for Marvin) and my grandma (Eileen).  It's hard to tell in black and white photos, but they all had beautiful blue eyes. 

I was blessed to have grown up around my grandma and her siblings.  I knew my grandma's siblings as Uncle Marv and Aunt Larry.  They grew up in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  They were classy, smart, and kind.  There was always a warm atmosphere when I was around my grandma and her siblings.  The old movies from the 1940's always remind me of them.  Every holiday was picture perfect and could have been on a Hallmark movie.  I miss them so much.  I am saddened that my daughters will not meet them here on this earth.  I miss The Greatest Generation.  It is sad how easily their values and influence have already been forgotten.