Yesterday was the Last Day I Got to Make Out with My Bishop

Brian was released as bishop of our ward today after 5 years of service.  I gave Brian a kiss yesterday at the state championship high school football game and jokingly started making out with him.  I am constantly trying to get reactions out of Brian, so he knew I was just being a booger.  I told him, "Today is my last day that I get to make out with my bishop." 

(This was not our faux make out session.  I told Brian to pose for this picture and he was super excited.) 😆

In October of 2016 I attended my 20 year high school reunion.  I ran into a friend from high school, Kris Heaps.  He had recently been released as his ward's bishop.  I asked him if it was a relief to be done as bishop.  He told me that he missed being the bishop and that he would have loved to have served longer.  It surprised me at the time.  One month later, Brian was called as our ward's bishop.  I now understand some of the emotions that Kris felt after being released.  I mean, Brian knows more about how Kris was feeling, but I definitely have felt a loss today.  

Brian served in two bishoprics when we were in our 20's.  I realize now how young we were!  We were busy, but life was ideal.  I remember being a little upset when I was turning 30 years old.  I thought it was so old!  I wanted to stay young forever.  I decided to write a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish in my 30's.  Instead of being in a slump, I became highly motivated.  I had a set schedule everyday.  I was running and working out everyday.  More importantly, our family was in wonderful habits of having the gospel in our home.  We read scriptures every day, memorized Articles of Faith and scripture mastery scriptures, had great Family Home Evenings, and had gospel music on throughout the week.  I always did my visiting teaching and I served in stake and ward callings.  I had so many dreams including going back to college and also getting my high school body back (haha!).  I also was trying to decide if we should adopt or do IVF again.  I for sure wanted at least one more child.

(Don't I look soooo old?  I'm practically decrepit.  haha!)

  

Unfortunately, I got very sick a short while after I turned 30.  I was unable to function and I had two young children at home.  It was apparent that after a few months that I was not getting any better.  Brian was serving in a bishopric for the second time at that point. Brian had to be home to take care of the girls and the house.  We were struggling.  Brian needed to be released from his responsibilities in the bishopric.  I went throughout my 30's not feeling well and having to rely on others to help with my children.  The great FHE lessons that I would prepare each week became a 2 minute discussion with our girls on a gospel topic.  We went without family scripture study for about a year or two, but started it up again.  It was never how it was before.  We didn't spend time discussing the scriptures like we did in the past.  We were just doing our best by reading them.  I missed church half the time because I did not feel well.  It took a lot of effort going to church.  I started putting a lot more effort into going when Kessa started thinking that she could stay home from church. When that didn't work she started saying she didn't feel well in hopes that she could stay home with me.  It was difficult to get to church each week, but I was determined. 

 

(This is the first Bishopric that Brian served in.  We do not have a picture of the second bishopric he served in.)

I can't believe that I thought 30 was so old!  I wish that I could have lived my 30's with health and strength!  I still have a very hard time thinking about my 30's.  My girls were in the stage of life where I would have been most involved if I had never gotten sick.  It still upsets me that I was not able to be the mom that I know I would have been.  I did my very best under the circumstances. 

It was around 2015 that my neurologist prescribed me a different medication than the ones that we experimented previously (there were a lot!).  It was a miracle to our family that I started having better days.  I had not gone through a day for seven years without being nauseated (motion/sea sick) and/or having migraines.  I didn't feel better right away.  At first I would just feel better in the mornings.  I had not driven for seven years, and I was able to finally drive every once in awhile.  I still got sick on-and-off.  I had to be careful what I did.  My brain still needed lots of quiet, relaxation time.  

Brian and I were not expecting to be called into visit with the Stake President in November of 2016.  Brian and I had been serving as partners in the primary for a few years.  The bishop of our ward put us as partners because he knew that I needed someone to be there in case I was sick.  Brian and I could not figure out why we were being called into meet with the stake president.  We were confused.  I was in shock when the Stake President asked Brian to be the bishop of the Elliot Groves Ward.  I truly believed that we were done with any callings that had a great amount of responsibility.  We accepted the calling, but I was nervous.  The last time Brian had been serving in a bishopric I got extremely ill and I was nervous it would happen again.  I was still nervous to be on my own and to be independent in any way.  I learned first hand that just because someone is living righteously does not exempt the person from major trials.  A calling does not exempt anyone from trials and hardships.  It took a great deal of faith when Brian was first called as bishop when he would leave our house every day to serve the ward.  I did not want to make Brian worry about me, so I did not say anything about my fears to him.  I wanted him to be able to concentrate on others that were struggling.  I knew first hand how special a bishop is when in time of need.  Fortunately, the medication that I have taken since 2015 is a type of medication that has more benefits the longer a person takes it.  I have been very blessed that we finally found a medication to help my brain stem function.  I finally was able to function like a healthy human being.

Another issue I had was that I thought that I had to be a cookie cutter bishop's wife.  I pictured one of my bishop's wives that would bake homemade bread for the sacrament each week.  She knew how to sew.  She was always soft spoken.  She had six kids that sat through church like angels.  I expressed my concern about being a bishop's wife to the stake president.  He told me that my responsibility was to support Brian.  He also told me that I am not the mother of the ward.  Being bishop was Brian's calling, not mine.  His words helped me to just be myself instead of worrying about trying to be like anyone else.

We had no clue or indication that Brian was going to be called as a bishop.  What amazed us was that the moment he was set apart there was a huge difference.  It was a testimony to us that the mantle of a bishop is real.  It was a testimony to me that the priesthood keys are real.  Suddenly Brian was responsible for caring and guiding a ward.  Brian could feel Heavenly Father helping him help others.  Brian has always been a loving, caring, self-assured person.  Being bishop just magnified his gifts.  Brian leaned on Heavenly Father and was able to help others the way Heavenly Father would help them.

These past five years have been wonderful!  I know being bishop has blessed Brian.  It has also blessed me personally.  I was nervous to be on my own and to be independent when he was first called.  I quickly became independent and gained more self-confidence than I had since before I got sick.  If I had never gotten sick, I know Brian would have still been a wonderful bishop because he is a wonderful man.  But...I know that because of the hardships that we went through that it helped us to be more empathetic to those that are suffering.  It definitely helped me to desire for Brian to go out and help others.  I never had a hard time when Brian was not home because I knew others needed him more at that time.  

I expressed to Brian many times that as a bishop's wife I never knew anything going on in the ward.  I think that it was a blessing.  I have never had the need to know the scoop on what other people are going through.  Or, I should say, I do not need to know details or any information.  If someone says, "So-and-so is going through a hard time" then that is enough for me to start praying for them.  Brian never shared anything that others told him in private when meeting with him.  I love him even more for caring so much about others.  I am very grateful that those that needed to meet with him were able to go to him in confidence knowing that it was between them and the Lord.  I wanted others to be able to go to Brian and have their burdens lifted.  I desired for others to go to Brian and be able to feel a portion of how much the Savior loves them.  I never had a hard time when Brian was gone doing bishop duties.  I never knew who he was meeting with or who he was serving, but I was grateful that Brian was able to be there for them.  I know how much Brian loves Heavenly Father and that is why he loves Heavenly Father's children.  Heavenly Father magnified Brian's gifts so that he could help others.

Brian has absolutely loved those he has served.  He is struggling not being able to meet with those that he has come to love.  He cares deeply about the individuals he has worked with.  Brian has told me many times that when anyone meets with him that he gets a sense of how Heavenly Father sees the person.  

I know that Brian has helped lift other's burdens.  He has shown others how much the Savior loves them and that through the atonement of Jesus Christ that they can be made whole.

I am constantly finding conference talks that Brian has printed out laying around the house.  I know that he had someone on his mind and that is why he looked up the talk.  Brian would say long prayers at night.  I would be laying in the dark after I was done with my prayers just waiting for him to be done so that we could talk.  I know he was praying about individuals and families in our ward.  

I had the opportunity to share my testimony today when Brian was released.  I spilled the beans that next week will be our last week in the Elliot Groves Ward because we are moving.  I didn't realize that Brian had not told our stake president yet that we were moving.  So whoops on my part.  We were standing around after Sacrament Meeting today and Kendra said, "There is no way anyone could love another bishop as much as dad."  I thought it was so cute!  It shows how much my girls love their dad.  He is truly perfect in their eyes.  They have also loved him being bishop.  They used to fight over which one of them got to sit by Brian during church.  I always sat by Brian, so there was only one other person that could sit by him.  We started having the girls take turns.  They were upset that they were not going to be able to sit by him during church when he was first called to bishop, but they soon realized after he was called that there were many other perks to having their dad as bishop.  They got to raid his office for candy each Sunday.  Brian attended most of their activities, which they absolutely loved.  Brian was involved with the youth.  All of our girl's interviews were given by Brian.  Often times those interviews were given at home.  We also had access to the building during Covid and when the girls wanted to practice for cheer or pom (shhhhh...I don't think we were supposed to do that, but sometimes ignorance is bliss.)

I could go on and on about the blessings that we have received these past five years with Brian as our bishop.  It is a unique position to be in since there are not that many bishops.  I can't imagine what it is like to be the prophet and have no other person on the earth that has that calling.  Being a bishop is a very hands-on calling that influences many people.  Brian has always been an example of Christlike love no matter his calling or station in life.   

I knew last week was the last week that Brian was going to be bishop.  He was sitting on the stand and I had tears streaming down my face.  I am happy I was in the front row and able to hide my face with my hair or people would have been wondering what in the world was going on.  I got an overwhelming feeling of how much Heavenly Father loves Brian.  I also thought of Pop and how proud he would be of Brian.  Not because he was bishop but because Brian is pure of heart and loves others.

(I snuck this picture of Brian last week as he was sitting on the stand)
  

It is always shocking to me how fast time flies.  Kessa was in 5th grade when Brian was called as bishop and Kendra was starting junior high.  Kessa is now a sophomore in high school and Kendra is in her first year of college.  I could fit in all the dresses in my closet when Brian was called as bishop and now, not so much. Brian had a few gray hairs when he was first called and now, well...

These pictures were taken in October 2016, one month before Brian was called to serve as the bishop:

(We LOVED teaching primary.  We were so lucky to be Kessa's teachers.  There were at least 4 kids missing the day we took this picture.)

Time flies.  We are starting a new chapter in our lives.  I am sad to see this one end.  I know that there is more excitement to come and more opportunities to serve.  There are more friends to meet and more people to serve.

I love the gospel of Jesus Christ.  It is true!  I am grateful that I have been blessed to learn that through service we can find joy and become closer to Jesus Christ.  Our love for others grows.  We forget about ourselves and care about others.  That is where the joy comes from.  Those that only seek to please themselves will never know true joy. 

I am grateful for every person that supported Brian.  I am grateful for the people that we have met.  We have been blessed beyond measure because of those that we have had surrounding us.  

I am especially grateful to my Heavenly Father for my life and blessing me with so many blessings.

(I took this picture about a month ago when both Kessa and I were asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting.  Kessa was obviously thrilled!  I was nervous to speak since I hadn't spoken in church for over 10 years, but I was also excited to sit by Brian.)

The next two pictures are of me and Brian with one of our "Sunbeams".  We taught Jack when he was a Sunbeam and a CTR 4.  We loved teaching the Sunbeams.  Jack always smiled, was obedient, and had the biggest heart.  Every time we would ask a question he would tell us something about his dad.  His prayers melted our hearts.  He would always pray about his dad and his younger sister Charlotte.  Jack is the only one that is still in our ward that was one of our Sunbeams.  I got to watch him grow up.  He will be a Deacon this year!  He will receive the Aaronic Priesthood.  His dad is still his hero.  He still has a smile on his face, and he still has the biggest heart.  Today I bore my testimony in primary and told the children how much I love them and am going to miss them.  After I said "Amen", Jack walked up to the front of the Primary room and gave me the biggest hug.  I started bawling!  It meant so much to me.  After Primary the children took turns giving me hugs.  Why would anyone want to be anywhere else other than Primary!!  

(Jack as our cute sunbeam)

(Jack at the Highland state football game yesterday)

I love Brian so much!  I am blessed that he is my husband.  He is my best friend.  I thank my Heavenly Father that Brian is my eternal companion and that he is my best friend on this earth.  I tell my girls that their dad is the way he is because he lives the gospel of Jesus Christ.